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for those of you still want to think i am such a horrible person because i became an addict/alcoholic after way after my children were born. Joseph had that stent in his skull because he was transported to the Toledo Hospital NIC unit and needed specialized care and iv antibiotics because the doctor's would not start labor as soon as my water broke and became sick with mercronium disease. and fed intravenously. when we bought him home his home health care nurse had to come in finish his antibiotics at home. i never drank or smoked while pregnant with Joseph and yet he still was born ill. He never began regular feedings while in the hospital so soon after we could while in the hospital we had to teach him to be hungry waking up every 2 hours and feeding him so he would learn to be hungry. this i did while also tending to my 3 year old son Roger. i was not drinking or smoking for 6 years after his birth. i did not start addiction type behavior or practicing it until people started to slam me all the time. making me out to be an ugly skank,and generally abusive behavior towards.......i did most of not all those every 2 hour feedings myself with not much help from his father who was married to me and living with us.......and was still seen as a skank. not very comfortable considering i am the only one who ever dropped to knees on behalf of her 2 sons and would pray considerably hard for them. not at all. and not all comfortably to be thrust in the position of being a matriach to the Myers clan all 100 plus of them at 36. drink to handle the pressure and numb myself to how horrible people made me look and not knowing a damn thing about what i was going through. and most of the time now i only smoke so much to handle the extreme arrogant ignorance shown towards me. most of the time. for someone who wishes she had not let that addiction turn on in her system being it is a genetic predisposed disease its not something you catch just by shaking my hand or giving me a hug or telling me you love me. not at all. and having my shit together somedays i feel Mary Shelley's frankestein i have my shit together so much it feels like the bolts in my neck are going to pop out of my neck..........i didnt stop the alcohol and prescription drug abuse to end up looking as i do today. you gander through some of the photos in my gallery and the earliest photo of me on facebook who will see what people being abusive can do to people...........not what i wanted when i chose without intervention but completely voluntery to stop drinking and drugging...........no pushy intervention was needed but alot of love and support from those who did care. no tough love was needed.........i dont respond well to that at all. i only do to love and tenderness. but my detox love knows this. DressAfford slutty and sexy wears for wedding